Losing a Loved One.
Losing a Mother.
Loved One Lost. I cared for my mother for 5 ½ years expecting that she would die at any time. Therefore, I was sure. that as she was declining, I would be fine when I lost her. Afterall, I had expected this for over a half decade! Was I prepared for the inevitable Lose of a my Loved One? No. I was not prepared. Losing a Loved One that has been your focus for 5 ½ years is not going to be easy.
Losing your Loved One is not easy.
We have to remember that our mothers have been our anchor for our entire life. Even though their bodies are failing. First and foremost, if we have a problem, we discuss it with Mom. Mom always supports us. She is there gently, sometimes not so gently, guides us. Then, as I wander from room to room I am stuck on circular thinking; “I have so much to do only to accomplish nothing”. In conclusion, I am overwhelmed. I want to discuss my pain, my loss, my mom. However, my mom, my sounding board, is not there. I wonder constantly why I am all alone and why do I want to continue this same path?
Even now, after letting her go in 2021, I ask myself;
“How long will this sadness be with me?”
“When will I get over being Violet’s daughter and just be me and depend on me?”
Then, I realize that I am sad, very sad. I am missing someone who I have counted on for my whole life. She was not always in the same town. We did not always live in the same state. We had different homes, but she was always there.
Grief Resources:
- There is loss, therefore there is NIA. National Institute on Aging, NIA, research has furthered our understanding of the nature of aging. NIA leads a broad scientific effort to understand the nature of aging and to extend the healthy, active years of life. END OF LIFE What To Do After Someone Dies
- CDC on dealing with grief – There are many different types of loss. We may experience loss of income or a job, loss of control, or loss of connection with family or with friends. How Right Now Emotion – Dealing with Grief
