Dealing With Grief of a Loved One
Losing a Loved One. Losing a Mother. Loved One Lost. I cared for my mother for 5 ½ years expecting that she would die at any time. Therefore, I was sure. that as she was declining, I would be fine when I lost her. Afterall, I had expected this for over a half decade! Was I prepared for the inevitable Lose of a my Loved One? No. I was not prepared. Losing a Loved One that has been your focus for 5 ½ years is not going to be easy. Losing your Loved One is not easy. We have to remember that our mothers have been our anchor for our entire life. Even though their bodies are failing. First and foremost, if we have a problem, we discuss it with Mom. Mom always supports us. She is there gently, sometimes not so gently, guides us. Then, as I wander from room to room I am stuck on circular thinking; “I have so much to do only to accomplish nothing”. In conclusion, I am overwhelmed. I want to discuss my pain, my loss, my mom. However, my mom, my sounding board, is not there. I wonder constantly why I am all alone and why do I want to continue this same path? Even now, after letting her go in 2021, I ask myself; “How long will this sadness be with me?” “When will I get over being Violet’s daughter and just be me and depend on me?” Then, I realize that I am sad, very sad. I am missing someone who I have counted on for my whole life. She was not always in the same town. We did not always live in the same state. We had different homes, but she was always there. Grief Resources: There is loss, therefore there is NIA. National Institute on Aging, NIA, research has furthered our understanding of the nature of aging. NIA leads a broad scientific effort to understand the nature of aging and to extend the healthy, active years of life. END OF LIFE What To Do After Someone Dies CDC on dealing with grief – There are many different types of loss. We may experience loss of income or a job, loss of control, or loss of connection with family or with friends. How Right Now Emotion – Dealing with Grief
Know Who You Are
Below are two letters. Who do you want to be looking at in the mirror at each day of your life for the remainder of your life? Know who you are and forgiving who you are. Maria Empowered I no longer have a house. It made me happy to give away a lot of fancy stuff to a young family that needed it. Fancy stuff is not who you are. I do have someone to clean my room, make my food, and do my laundry. They care for me here, try to find activities that will make me feel productive. They also take my blood pressure and weigh me. I am very grateful to have someone looking after me like this. I listen to the laughter of my grandchildren in video meetings every Sunday. I look forward to those days. I see them growing up and fighting with each other, video technology is not the same as being there, but better than not at all. Sometimes the family comes to visit, which is nice, and I love the phone calls and texts that’s okay too. I try to appreciate every minute and not complain, just know that I miss you, and any little contact will make me smile. I am retired and my body and mind are different now. I do enjoy reading, but my eyes get tired quickly. The winter months are tough. I am uncomfortably cold more than I want to be. I miss baking cakes. I miss gardening. I guess this all means I am changing and need to be more creative about how to make these things I like happen in a different way. I told you when you were young to “press on toward the mark for the prize” with courage, I have remind myself and others to have courage. I preserve by being helpful to other people here at this adult care home. I am helping to lead group activities. I also read to a group, we even sing together. When others pass away we throw a party of celebration of life well lived. Some folks believe life expectancy numbers will keep going up as our understanding of biotech, such as stem cells and organ regeneration, improves. Others say that the trajectory toward death in old age hasn’t changed, and that evolutionary biology suggests that there’s a limit to how long humans can live. We know we need to keep our minds active as well as exercising a muscle makes it strengthen and allowing lapse makes the same muscle falter weakly. This is why I need to find something productive. A purpose. Bigger families are healthier because the kids learn to share and compromise, and build relationships with each other and their parents. The whole family learns to work together, and the different personalities and skills of each member add diversity. Some studies also say that bigger families can lead to higher life satisfaction. Even thought it is difficult, I am eager to learn new things and find a successful productive purpose. Always remember you are a person of great value, you are needed and capable at any age! Please show this to your loved ones. Grandma Maria loves you. or Maria Sadness I am 82 years old, I have 4 children, 11 grandchildren, 2 great-grandchildren and a room of 12 square meters. I no longer have a home or expensive things, but I have someone who will clean my room, prepare food and bedding, measure my pressures and weigh me. I no longer have the laughter of my grandchildren, I don’t see them growing, hugging and arguing. Some come to me every 15 days, some every three or four months, and some never. I no longer work in the winter, I don’t bake cakes, I don’t dig up the garden. I still have hobbies and I like to read, but my eyes quickly hurt. I don’t know how much longer, but I have to get used to this loneliness. Here at home, I lead group work and help those who are worse than me as much as I can. Until recently, I read aloud to an immobile woman in the room next to me, we used to sing together, but she died the other day. They say life is getting longer. Why? When I’m alone, I can look at photos of my family and memories I brought from home. And that’s all. I hope that the next generations will understand that families are born to have a future (with children) and that they do not forget about the family even in old age. Please don’t show this to my children. Grandma Maria loves you.
